Monday, January 5, 2009

Working Through Negative Feelings After Divorce

Effective parenting after divorce is facilitated by your changing perceptions. How you view you are ex spouse is extremely important, as well as the feelings they evoke for you. It is never too early to begin working on your negative feelings toward your ex-spouse. However, please realize that having angry or painful feelings about your ex is not the problem. This is normal. The problem comes when parents don't find appropriate ways of expressing and dealing with these away from their children. It is best to have a support system of family and friends, as well as a trusted mental-health professional with whom you can process these feelings appropriately. Attending parenting classes for divorced or divorcing parents can also be helpful. Don't expect to get through negative feelings overnight. Most parents report a back-and-forth process between negative feelings and a sense of resolve. Remember that this happens over time, and you have to find your own timetable. Parents who avoid dealing with these difficult feelings merely prolong the suffering for themselves and their children.

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