Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Parents Perceptions vs. Children's Perceptions

When parenting children before or after a divorce, be mindful that your needs and those of your children will often be very different. While you might be feeling angry, anxious, or depressed about your new living situation, it is entirely possible that your child feels a great sense of relief now that things have changed. Avoid assuming that your children feel or think exactly the way you do. Their experience of your ex is very different from your experience. That is the way it should be. Remember, the relationship your children have with both parents is different from the relationship parents have with each other. You may feel betrayed or rejected by your ex-spouse, but that may not be what your child experienced. Parents and children rarely experience a separation and divorce in exactly the same way. If you suspect you are confusing your own feelings with those of your kids, get some outside objective feedback from someone you trust. Attending some parenting classes can also be helpful.

83 comments:

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Stacey Lang said...

I admit that I was able to neglect the needs of my children for a couple of weeks/ a month, I guess. But I realized that it was sort of unfair on their part. They don't have the obligation to comprehend to the situation at a very young age. So as the parent who's left to take care of them I have to give them all the love and attention that they need that their father wasn't able to give to them.


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